Earlier this week my cousin came over with her twins for a visit. It's the first time they came to the house. For some reason my cousin left me $20 on my desk, saying it was a thank you for helping her with something or other. I feel funny about this money thing, but I know not taking it comes off as an even bigger insult somehow. I don't know. Anyway, with that money I went to the grocery store and bough a few needed items... basically items that I could use to make my lunch for work. I had half a sawbuck left so I went to Subway and bought a footlong. Who says 20 bucks doesn't buy much? It bought me lunch for over a week.
The thing is, what about me compels people to hand me money, food, or anything really? Case in point, my homeless friend at the Glendale library. He has brought me food for the favors I�ve done for him (such as renting movies on Netflix that they library doesn�t have). Here�s a guy who is homeless giving ME food. There is definitely something about my personality that makes people think I need taking care of. Ya know what? They�re right. Look, I�m confident enough to know that I can handle pretty much anything that�s thrown at me. But that doesn�t mean that I mind help. I�m not Superman, I can�t do twenty things at once. The funny thing is, I really do need all the help I can get. I may be able face anything that�s thrown at me, but at the same time not having to learn everything on the fly would be good. At all of my jobs I�ve literally been �thrown to the wolves,� to either sink or swim. It would be nice to not have to do that EVERY time. THAT is too much to ask for. And forget about interpersonal relationships, I�m still completely terrible at those. Damn, I do need help. LOL